Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Afterall, I also have a personal life.

Since today is a slow news day,
And also a FULLY-PACKED DAY OF DRAMA for me in MY life.
I just thought I'd actually use my blog to blog about myself.
I finally realized who my true friends are,
And I messaged them to just to tell them :)
&I know that I left out about two people,
But these were the 3 people that were really on my mind.

Hey guys :)
But i think i just figured out who my TRUE friends TRULY are.
& it's you three.
I know sometimes it might not even seem like I'm closest to you, or whatever, but you really are.
You're the only people I can actually trust my life with, and that means alot.
It's pretty sad how now, I only go to school with one of these people, so I better hold her on tight.
Like I was telling Sam, he's leaving me in this big, mad world all by myself.
It sometimes feels like you three are the only SANE people I know.
Like everyone else backstabs, and most of all, doesn't understand me.
Or some of them, I just don't get them.
I don't know, maybe it's my fault for that.
And I know Megan, you probably think this is a completely random message, but it's because alot of shit is happening right now.
So I just think that I should really let all of you know how much I really appreciate you guys.
And I've noticed, I've never had a BIG, SERIOUS fight with any of you, and that really says alot about a true friend.
I can trust you all with my deepest secrets,
And I know you all understand me and know how I feel.

We've been bestfriends since forever.
I remember when you used to make fun of my 2 BUNS.
& doing CREDITCARD on everyone's buttcracks.
And of course, the inseperable Proud Family.
Trudy&Oscar Proud forever <3
But then, of course, like all of my bestfriends, you leave.
You no longer go to Dellos :(
There, I really thought I lost youu.
But thankfully, we see each other often!
And even went on my FIRST ROADTRIP with a friend, and JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT!
woot (:
Can't wait till august 7th!
We really gotta chill soooon :)
Then, I'll catch you up on everything that's happening at school.

Ever since we met in Yearbook, (I'm not counting MySpace) we've clicked, and become close friends SO QUICKLY.
Like within a couple weeks, we were suddenly like BFFs, when we barely just met (again, not counting Myspace)
You understand my personality probably better than anyone I know.
And you can probably predict everything I'm about to do.
You speak honestly out of your heart, and I know you don't go backstabbing or talking shit about people for fun,
When you do, I know you mean it.
Just so you know,
no matter WHAT
I will ALWAYS be there for you,
And give you HONEST advice,
Not just the advice you want to hear.
I <3 you Erica LizardballUHSSS
Just to be original there,
Cause you know, Caitlin, there is such thing as originality (;
Trust me, we'll get through this together.

Honsetly, I'm very dissapointed in you, I can't hide that.
And it's not because of anything you did.
Well it is,
But it's not the fact that you act that way.
It's cause I CARE about you.
I'm truly very worried for you, and I want to help, but I don't know what to do.
Talking sense into you doesn't seem to help.
I just hate to see such a close friend, I don't know, losing it.
I want the best for you, and I can't believe you blew it with one simple mistake.
I wanted the end of the year with you to be MEMORABLE & days I would forever remember, since I wouldn't be seeing you alot after.
First, I was crying cause Matt cussed at me and hurt me with his words.
Then, I realized why the fuck am I crying over that?!
I realized that yesterday was the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL I WOULD GO TO YOU WITH.
And I didn't even talk to you.
That just made me super upset.
The last day I can remember going to school with you-
That's the day I didn't talk to you at all.
And I'll live with that fucking regret forever,
And I'm not proud of it at all.
They say to live life without regrets, but I know that's not fucking possible.
So please, Sam.
Don't screw up again.
And please CARE about something.
CARE about someone.
I don't know just CAREEE.
You're like there, but just living life going through the motions.
Nothing in your HEART.
Then, I talk to you, and you sound like nothing's wrong.
It really gets me frustrated.
I hope you know you can talk to me about everything,
Cause that's what I do to you.
So it really hurts to know that I'm losing you,
Since you mean so much to me.
I might seem like a freak for crying over you just leaving school, or fucking your life or whatever,
And I don't want you to regret everything you did later on.
Please just consider it.
There is so much more to say to you,
But if I just put all that I felt into words, it would never end.

So yeah, thanks for everything guys.
And sorry, Sam's the longest.
Cause I have alot to say to him at the moment.

Jasmine .